This belief forms when inconsistency gets internalized as identity. You start to believe you are unreliable, not just that you’ve been inconsistent—especially when effort is masked by executive dysfunction, fear, or shame. The more you avoid, the more you reinforce the cycle.
It sounds like:
- “I can’t be trusted.”
- “I always let people down.”
- “I’m not dependable.”
- “I fail to follow through.”
- “I break promises.”
What It Sounds Like Internally:
You’re not trying to flake—you’re terrified you will.
- “They’ll regret trusting me.”
- “I don’t show up when it matters.”
- “No one can count on me.”
- “I get overwhelmed and disappear.”
- “I always disappoint the people who matter most.”
Where It Shows Up:
You’re not unreliable—you’re dysregulated.
- Cancelling last minute out of shame or paralysis
- Overcommitting and ghosting from overwhelm
- Taking forever to reply, even when you care
- Constant guilt for dropped tasks or forgotten plans
- Avoiding new commitments to preempt failure
It often forms in:
- Homes with high expectations and low support
- Childhoods marked by broken promises or inconsistent modelling
- Environments where mistakes equaled failure of character
- Adult life with ADHD, burnout, or unprocessed shame
What It Can Lead To:
You don’t just fear disappointing people—you expect to.
- Living in apology mode
- Reluctance to set boundaries or say no
- Sabotaging relationships to avoid disappointing people later
- Defining yourself by your lowest moments
- Avoiding leadership, visibility, or reliability roles
Want to Dive Deeper into the “I’m Unreliable” Pattern?
Explore how this belief takes root—and how to rebuild trust with yourself.
Emotional Triggers:
- Being asked for a favour or deadline
- Reminders of something you forgot
- Seeing others show up consistently
- Praise that feels unearned
- Apologizing for something again
Related Beliefs:
- I don’t keep my word
- I don’t follow through
- I’m not reliable enough
- Why bother trying
What Therapy Targets:
This isn’t about time management—it’s about nervous system regulation and rebuilding self-trust. With Pattern Reconditioning, we dissolve the shame loop that’s been calling the shots.
Clients often say:
“I stopped thinking of myself as unreliable—and started learning how to show up.”
👉 Explore the Therapy Approach →
👉 See the Full Pattern Breakdown →
Related Resources:
- Pattern Reconditioning →
- ADHD Therapy Calgary →
- ADHD Therapy Edmonton →
- Burnout Counselling Calgary →
- Burnout Counselling Edmonton →
