First Of All, Sex Problems Are Common!

And there are all sorts of them. Sex and physical intimacy is a huge part of a relationship, and is also important on an individual level. It’s something we tend to put a lot of pressure on, so it’s not surprising that a lot of individuals and couples struggle with sex and seek out sex therapy.

Below are some of the most common sex-related issues we see:

  • Compulsive sexual behaviour (sometimes also referred to as hyper-sexuality or satyriasis)
  • Trouble focusing
  • Lack of libido
  • Lack of excitement and foreplay
  • Challenges with emotional intimacy and connection
  • Having different sexual expectations or desires
  • Not having enough time or energy for sex

Other things that are not necessarily issues or concerns, but are sex-related that we talk with our clients about are:

  • BDSM & bondage
  • Sexual kinks
  • Sexual fetishes
  • Polyamory (having multiple sexual partners)
  • Cultural conflicts

Common symptoms of compulsive sexual behaviour are:

  • Recurrent, intense sexual fantasies, urges, and/or behaviors, which interfere with other life obligations
  • Behaviors occur in response to dysphoric mood states (anxiety, depression, boredom, irritability), stressful life events, or mania.
  • Making consistent but unsuccessful efforts to control or reduce sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors
  • Engaging in sexual behaviors and disregarding the potential for physical or emotional harm to the self or others
  • Feeling shame, embarrassment or self-loathing over sexual behavior

What Causes Problems In The Bedroom?

There are so many factors that contribute to a healthy and satisfying sex life, that some things things are bound to go wrong. A lot of the time, there are underlying issues, like stress, depression, anxiety and shame, that contribute to issues with physical intimacy, and these are the things we’re most interested in at Shift.

During our early years, we are exposed to things (non nurturing elements) that impact us later in life; this includes your sex life. Some of the elements from childhood that my impact someone’s sex life later in life include:

  • Early sexual abuse or exposure to sexual content
  • Traumatic experiences or stressors
  • Family dysfunction
  • Social stressors
  • Witnessing extramarital affairs in parents
  • Social isolation
  • Culture (different cultures judge sexual behaviours in different ways)

Sex is often used by individuals to relieve pressure that they feel in their lives. Alternatively, sex me be avoided by other individuals who struggle with intimacy, or something else.

Improve Your Sex Life With Origin-Focused Sex Therapy

Like we mentioned, we’re interested in the root causes of sex-related issues. In our specialized therapy, we’ll first look for internalized limiting beliefs, which are negative beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world around us. These beliefs often stem from the non-nurturing elements we discussed before, and include things like:

  • I am not good enough
  • I am inferior/worthless
  • I am unlovable/unacceptable
  • I cannot trust others
  • I’m at risk
  • I am alone
  • I am inadequat
  • I am shameful

The goal of Shift sex therapy is to reprocess the events and memories associated with these limiting beliefs using bilateral stimulation, so that they no longer have their power over you. You will likely see the benefits of this transcend your sex life and positively impact other parts of your life as well.

Also check out our tips for a better sex life here!