This belief doesn’t just hold you back—it preemptively disqualifies progress. When you’re wired to believe that success can’t stick, sabotage becomes the nervous system’s form of protection. You don’t ruin things because you don’t care. You ruin them because somewhere along the way, it felt safer than watching them be taken.
It sounds like:
- “I always mess things up.”
- “I sabotage everything good.”
- “I can’t hold onto progress.”
- “Eventually I’ll ruin it.”
- “I’m the reason things fall apart.”
What It Sounds Like Internally:
You fear what happens after it starts going well.
- “If I succeed, I’ll screw it up anyway.”
- “Why build something if I can’t keep it together?”
- “They’ll regret trusting me.”
- “I never follow through.”
- “It always ends the same.”
Where It Shows Up:
It’s not failure—it’s bracing for it.
- Quitting right before completion
- Distracting yourself from progress
- Undermining relationships or opportunities that feel “too good”
- Delaying the next step because it feels like a setup
- Overcommitting and then shutting down completely
It often forms in:
- Childhood roles with too much responsibility too early
- Environments where success was followed by rejection
- Situations where perfection was expected and failure punished
- Roles where your worth came from fixing others
What It Can Lead To:
Success doesn’t feel safe—it feels suspicious.
- Stopping momentum when it builds
- Never feeling proud or settled
- Emotional whiplash between intensity and avoidance
- Chronic guilt after good things fall apart
- Feeling undeserving of consistency, progress, or peace
Want to Dive Deeper into the “I Always Ruin Things” Pattern?
Explore how we help rewire the sabotage loop—so progress doesn’t feel like a setup.
Emotional Triggers:
- Things going well “for too long”
- Being trusted with responsibility
- Reaching goals and feeling emptier after
- Praise that feels pressure-laced
- Fear of becoming the reason for someone else’s disappointment
Related Beliefs:
- They’ll regret trusting me
- I always mess it up
- I can’t hold it together
- I don’t deserve good things
What Therapy Targets:
We don’t just stop sabotage—we target what it’s protecting. Identity-Level Therapy helps you hold success without bracing for collapse.
Clients often say:
“I stopped pulling the plug when things felt good—and started learning how to hold them.”
👉 Explore the Therapy Approach →
👉 See the Full Pattern Breakdown →
Related Resources:
- Pattern Reconditioning →
- ADHD Therapy Calgary →
- ADHD Therapy Edmonton →
- Burnout Counselling Calgary →
- Burnout Counselling Edmonton →
