Cognitive dissonance is what happens when your actions don’t match what you believe — and your brain scrambles to close the gap.
But when your core beliefs live below awareness, dissonance shows up in more than just thinking.
It creates stress, guilt, anxiety, avoidance, even burnout.
At ShiftGrit, we go deeper than just changing behaviour — we target the beliefs causing the conflict in the first place.
What Is Cognitive Dissonance?
It’s a psychological tension caused by two things being true at once:
- You believe one thing
- You act in a way that contradicts it
(or vice versa: you act in a way that reveals a deeper, unconscious belief)
Common examples:
- Believing “I’m strong” while people-pleasing to avoid conflict
- Wanting connection, but withdrawing out of fear of rejection
- Saying “I’m over it,” but still reacting when triggered
That tension isn’t just annoying — it’s evidence of unresolved internal patterns.
Why It Hurts More Than It Should
Cognitive dissonance creates:
- Shame spirals
- Overthinking
- Justification loops
- Defensive posturing
- Identity confusion
But the distress isn’t just cognitive — it’s identity-level conflict.
The part of you that wants change is fighting the part of you still protecting a belief.
What We Do at ShiftGrit
Instead of just coaching clients to change their actions, we ask:
- What belief is being threatened right now?
- Where did it come from?
- Can we recondition the pattern that made it feel true?
When we reduce the threat load — the dissonance fades.
Clients report feeling:
- Calmer
- More congruent
- More self-trusting
They stop needing to justify their behaviour — because it aligns with who they’ve become.
Example:
Behaviour: Saying yes to everything
Stated Belief: “I value balance”
Unconscious Belief: “If I say no, I’m selfish”
After reprocessing: Boundary-setting feels calm, not dangerous
Want to feel less like you’re in a constant tug-of-war with yourself?
📘 Learn how identity-level therapy resolves belief conflict
📂 Explore core emotional patterns