Where this belief fits
Schema Domain: Disconnection & Rejection
Lifetrap: Mistrust / Abuse
Non-Nurturing Elements™ (Precursors):
This belief doesn’t whisper — it echoes. When someone carries the internal narrative “I Hurt Everyone,” it can quietly distort every relationship, every close moment, every choice to connect. Even when nothing has gone wrong, there’s a haunting sense that it will. That just by being yourself — saying too much, feeling too deeply, reacting too strongly — you’ll inevitably cause harm. This belief isn’t always loud, but it’s always present. And it keeps you stuck in guilt, distance, and self-silencing.
What It Sounds Like Internally:
- “I always ruin good things.”
- “I make people uncomfortable.”
- “They’d be better off without me.”
- “I don’t mean to, but I always cause pain.”
- “Even when I try to help, I just make it worse.”
Where It Shows Up:
- Avoiding vulnerability for fear it will backfire.
- Constant guilt after expressing needs or emotions.
- Pulling away from people when things get too close.
- Feeling responsible for others’ emotional reactions.
- Over-apologizing or over-explaining during conflict.
- Chronic self-blame even when there’s no clear wrongdoing.
What It Can Lead To:
- Emotional withdrawal or hyper-independence.
- Sabotaging relationships before they deepen.
- Shame-based identity development.
- Difficulty accepting love or forgiveness.
- Chronic overthinking and people-pleasing as damage control.
- Developing anxiety or depressive patterns linked to perceived harm.
Want to Dive Deeper into the “I Hurt Everyone” Pattern?
Discover related beliefs, emotional triggers, and how therapy can help you recondition this deep-rooted belief for real change.
What Therapy Targets:
In Identity-Level Therapy, we don’t just address the guilt — we unravel the origin of the belief that guilt is deserved. We help you trace the emotional evidence pile: where this belief first formed, how it reinforced itself over time, and what internal rules you began to live by. Using Pattern Reconditioning, we target the underlying association: that connection equals harm. And we replace it with new neural pathways grounded in safety, self-trust, and attunement. So that closeness doesn’t feel dangerous — and your presence no longer feels like a threat.
👉 Explore the Therapy Approach →
👉 See the Full Pattern Breakdown →
