Where this belief fits
Schema Domain: Disconnection & Rejection
Lifetrap: Defectiveness / Shame
Non-Nurturing Elements™ (Precursors):
How this belief keeps repeating:
Evidence Pile
When this belief is active, the mind points to mistakes, selfish thoughts, boundary-setting, or moments of impact on others as evidence that one’s character is fundamentally bad.
Show common “proof” items
- Remembering times one disappointed or upset someone
- Having negative thoughts, impulses, or emotions
- Setting boundaries and seeing others react poorly
- Not living up to internal standards of “goodness”
- Feeling relief, anger, or resentment and judging that as bad
- Comparing oneself to people who seem more generous or kind
- Interpreting conflict as evidence of character failure
Constantly monitoring one’s character and intentions creates internal strain, often experienced as guilt, tension, or self-criticism over time.
Show common signals
- Chronic self-judgement
- Tightness when asserting needs
- Mental replay of interactions
- Anxiety about causing harm
- Feeling morally “on edge”
Pressure is released through self-suppression and over-compensation, which creates relational strain that reinforces the belief of being a bad person.
Show Opt-Out patterns
- Chronic self-suppression
- Over-compensation through niceness or giving
- Avoidance of boundaries
- Compulsive emotional repairing
- Self-punishment
- Rumination followed by withdrawal
This belief doesn’t show up as villainy.
It shows up as over-apologizing.
As hiding your real opinions.
As assuming you’re the one in the wrong — even when you’re not.
“I Am A Bad Person” isn’t about what you do.
It’s about who you believe you are underneath it all.
What It Sounds Like Internally:
- “I don’t deserve forgiveness.”
- “If they really knew me, they’d leave.”
- “I’m inherently flawed — I just hide it well.”
Where It Shows Up:
- Chronic guilt or over-responsibility
- Self-sabotage in relationships or success
- Avoiding vulnerability out of fear of being “exposed”
- Difficulty receiving praise or feeling truly seen
What It Can Lead To:
Unchecked, this belief often mutates into:
- “If I’m not perfect, I’m dangerous.”
- “If I succeed, I’ll hurt people.”
- “If I let them in, they’ll hate what they find.”
Want to Dive Deeper into the “I Am a Bad Person” Pattern?
Discover related beliefs, emotional triggers, and how therapy can help you recondition this deep-rooted belief for real change.
What Therapy Targets:
We don’t try to “justify” your goodness.
We recondition the part of your brain that sees connection, softness, or success as risky.
Pattern Reconditioning helps untangle shame from identity — and replaces fear with regulated confidence.
👉 Explore the Therapy Approach →
👉 See the Full Pattern Breakdown →
