In this episode of The Shift Show “Rewiring Trauma: How to Break Free from Limiting Beliefs”, Andrea McTague flips the script by handing over the interviewer role to Matteo Sestito, who leads a thought-provoking discussion on trauma—what it is, how it manifests, and how we can effectively process and heal from it. The conversation is deeply insightful, breaking down the complex nature of trauma in a way that is both digestible and empowering.

Rewiring Trauma: Moving Beyond the Traditional View

Matteo opens the discussion by asking Andrea to define trauma in simple terms. Andrea explains that in their therapeutic approach, they rarely use the word “trauma” itself. Instead, they refer to it as a disturbance—anything the brain perceives as a threat, activating the body’s stress response. She highlights that trauma is not about how “big” or “valid” an event is but rather about how an individual’s brain interprets it.

Many people compare their experiences to others and dismiss their own struggles if they don’t fit the traditional “big T trauma” model, such as abuse or war. However, Andrea emphasizes that smaller, seemingly insignificant experiences—such as favoritism between siblings—can have lasting impacts on self-worth and identity. She refers to these as non-nurturing elements, which shape how we see ourselves and the world.

How Trauma Stores in the Brain

Andrea then explains that trauma is stored differently in the brain than other memories. Rather than being processed in the rational, thinking part of the brain (the neocortex), trauma is encoded in the “walnut brain”—the primitive, threat-based part of the brain responsible for survival.

She uses the example of a near-miss with a bus: If the experience is traumatic, the brain may store it as a persistent fear of crossing the street rather than just a lesson to be more cautious. This is because trauma memories store in isolation and do not integrate with regular memories, which is why people often experience intrusive thoughts and flashbacks. Trauma bypasses logic and instead operates on instinct, leading to long-term anxiety, avoidance, and maladaptive behaviors.

Why Do Some People Handle Trauma Better Than Others?

Matteo raises an important question: Why do some people seem to handle traumatic experiences better than others? Andrea explains that the way we interpret trauma is shaped in early childhood, particularly between the ages of zero and seven, when our identity is developing. If someone grows up with limiting beliefs such as “I’m incapable” or “I’m at risk”, they are more likely to perceive challenges as threats rather than obstacles they can overcome.

However, resilience also plays a role. Andrea explains that people with strong social connections, mindfulness practices, and self-care routines tend to cope better with trauma because they have a stronger “capacity” to handle stress. She compares it to a pressure cooker—when someone is overwhelmed by stress, their ability to manage trauma shrinks, leading to emotional outbursts, anxiety, or avoidance behaviors. On the other hand, people who actively build their resilience through self-care, social support, and mindfulness have a greater capacity to process and move past trauma.

Why Avoidance Makes Trauma Worse

A key part of the conversation focuses on avoidance behaviors—how trauma makes people unconsciously avoid situations that trigger their stress response. Andrea explains that while avoidance may feel like self-protection in the short term, it actually reinforces fear and makes the trauma response stronger.

For example, if someone was in a car accident and then avoids driving, their brain continues to associate cars with danger. Over time, this can generalize, leading them to avoid highways, busy streets, or even being a passenger in a vehicle. This is why exposure therapy is a crucial part of trauma treatment—gradual exposure helps retrain the brain to separate past trauma from present reality.

Andrea also highlights that many people avoid even thinking about their trauma, which leads to emotional suppression and an increased likelihood of intrusive thoughts. By facing trauma in a controlled, structured way, people can begin to break the cycle of avoidance and fear.

How Therapy Helps “Kill” Limiting Beliefs

Matteo asks how therapy works to remove trauma responses and limiting beliefs. Andrea explains that in their approach, they first identify the client’s non-nurturing elements—the childhood experiences that shaped their beliefs about themselves and the world. From there, they map out limiting beliefs and rank them in order of severity.

The next step is to “kill” those limiting beliefs through counter-conditioning, a process that rewires the brain’s response to trauma. Andrea likens it to breaking a phobia—if someone is terrified of ski jumping, they wouldn’t start by jumping off a 100-foot ramp. Instead, they would begin with small, manageable steps, building resilience over time. Similarly, therapy introduces controlled exposure to traumatic memories, allowing clients to reprocess them in a safe environment.

One of the most powerful takeaways from this discussion is that people are not “stuck” with trauma forever. The brain has an incredible ability to change, and through therapy, individuals can retrain their threat response so that past experiences no longer control their lives.

The Hidden Benefits of Trauma

One of the most fascinating parts of the conversation is the question: Can trauma be beneficial? Andrea explains that trauma can drive high ambition and success, particularly in entrepreneurs. Many successful business leaders have childhood trauma that instilled beliefs such as “I must be powerful” or “I need to be responsible for everything”, which drive them to succeed.

However, while these trauma-driven behaviors may create financial success, they often cause dysfunction in other areas, such as relationships. If someone operates from a scarcity mindset, constantly fearing failure or rejection, they may struggle with vulnerability and connection. Therapy helps shift these behaviors from compulsion to choice, allowing people to retain their ambition without being controlled by their trauma.

Andrea also discusses trauma-based “superpowers”, such as heightened people-reading abilities in individuals who grew up in chaotic environments. While these skills can be advantageous, they also stem from survival mechanisms that need to be addressed in order to live a balanced life.

Final Thoughts: Trauma Is NOT a Life Sentence

As the conversation wraps up, Matteo asks about the long-term impact of trauma therapy. Andrea emphasizes that one of the biggest misconceptions about trauma is that it’s permanent. In reality, trauma is highly treatable—people don’t have to manage it forever, they can actually remove the triggers that control them.

She closes with an empowering message:
“Just because somebody’s experienced trauma—whether it’s super severe or just that sticky, frustrating thing messing with them—it absolutely is not a life sentence. You can rewire how your brain interprets it, and when you do, it stops controlling your life.”